Breaking news
TV presenter Holly Willoughby wore clothes last night on telly.
Sultry in sequins: Holly looks just like Toon sex symbol Jessica Rabbit
What the fuck?
It's another week and another plunging neck line for controversial Dancing on Ice presenter Holly Willoughby.
'Controversial'? Eh?
Clad in a daring, curve-hugging scarlet gown, the glamorous star, who is becoming famous for her revealing style of dress, resembled racy cartoon character Jessica Rabbit.
No she fucking didn't.
The bejewelled garb hinted that Holly is not going to change her sartorial taste amid complaints from ITV viewers about her generous cleavage.
'Bejewelled garb'. There's a writer desperately trying to prove they can write. Maybe so they can write stories about something other than, er, someone's dress.
Backless apart from a slim sash of material, the former underwear model's 32D figure was enviable but may attract more criticism from the celebrity ice-skating competition's fans.
Despite a public backlash, Holly claimed she cannot understand what all the fuss is about.
What? What's the bloody problem?
Anyway, just in case you weren't aware of just how 'controversial' Willoughby was, there are several photos to let you know. Let's not forget in the recent Mark Dixie trial, police found evidence of him masturbating over a copy of the Daily Mail. Obviously pleased with that kind of readership, they're hoping for a few more one-handed 'readers' to wank themselves into a frenzy over some bird off the telly in a slightly revealing dress.
This breaking story comes hot off the back of
Holly Willoughby's plunging neckline heats up Dancing on Ice
and the investigative journalism that brought you
The hard-hitting
Defiant Holly Willoughby insists: 'I love my curves - and I'll keep showing them off'
and the award-winning
...into the Mail. The poor bitch.
Sure, I know that newspapers nowadays are all about candyfloss and fluff, as well as persecuting minorities and telling lies about taxes on the rich, but seriously, wasn't there a time when 'what someone wears on TV' would actually not be considered newsworthy? So some woman wears clothes? Big bloody deal. It's just a springboard for the usual woman-on-woman hatred in the comments that the Mail seems to foster so well. Surely there was a time when this wasn't news. Wasn't there?
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Hello. I'm a Bristol-based writer and soon-to-be-redundant journalist. You can read more about me and the Enemies site here, or follow me on Twitter. Email me if you like - antonvowl at live dot co dot uk
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March 10th, 2008 - 20:10
Don’t be so sure. Piers Morgan probably isn’t the most reliable person to go by, but in his diaries he mentions how he gets out an old copy of the Mirror from the Hugh Cudlipp days that was filled of utter trash, main story being that a Carry On star had avoided a fire to prove his point that standards haven’t dropped that far. Of course that’s the Mirror and not the Mail and I’m not one to defend the tabloids but still…
March 10th, 2008 - 20:56
“Oh England. Be depressed. You’re spied on, taxed for everything, lied to. We’re overrun by immigrants. The NHS is shit. The police are useless. It’s sooooo depressing”.
No, what’s depressing is that some “journalist” is actually paid to write about how a woman wore some clothes on TV.
Not that she can win. If she turned up in jeans and t-shirt they’d call her lazy and say she wasn’t good enough to present such a show.
Just how many complaints have their been anyway? It’s not mentioned in any of the stories. Could that be because finding would require doing same actual work? Or is it like just 2 people and a cat, thus rather taking the sting out of bashing Holly.