As we saw yesterday in Free parking and non-existent 'fury', wherein the Mail concocted 'fury' despite none of its sources displaying any whatsoever, it doesn't matter if something really exists or not. If the Mail decides there is fury, there is fury. Sure, it might not actually be there, we might not have any evidence, but we can categorically state there's 'fury'.
Today we have 'Fury over Everton footballer Tim Cahill's on-pitch gesture of solidarity with thug brother who left a man blind'. Remember, fury. No doubt about it in the headline, is there? Fury. Fury!
(Incidentally, crusty old newspaper subs are probably looking at that headline and shaking their jowls in disbelief. Look at it. Just look at it. What a clumsy ejaculation of words it is, so flat and wearyingly dull, so bereft of punch or spice. Do we need 'Everton footballer' in a headline, when it's next to a picture of a footballer in an Everton kit? Apparently so. Do we need first and second names? Apparently so. Welcome to the world of web headlines...)
But let's concentrate on the 'fury'. Naturally, having put it in the headline, you'd expect to find fury somewhere in the story. Let's see if we can.
[Victim] Mr Stapley, who had suffered deep depression, has now moved to the U.S. to seek a new life. His family are praying he will not hear about Tim Cahill's "celebration".
Good job it's not being mentioned in a national newsp... oh.
Detective Constable Will Hope of the Metropolitan Police, who investigated the attack, said last night: "It's very sad that this case has been brought to the attention of the public in such a way.
'Very sad' does not equal 'fury' in my book.
"As a sports star in the public eye, Tim Cahill's actions are grossly irresponsible.
"Celebrating his goal in such a way seemingly endorses the actions of his brother.
"What sort of a message does it send to the impressionable younger generation?"
Criticism, but reasonable, measured criticism and not fury.
Mr Stapley's mother Pamela, 55, said at the family home in Orpington, South East London last night: "We just want to move on. Chris doesn't know about what happened on the football field and I don't want him to."
'We just want to move on'. No 'fury' there from the victim's relative.
An Everton spokesman denied that Cahill's celebration had been inappropriate, but admitted: "I am sure Tim was fully aware that some people would not be in favour of what he did before he did it".
If there's one word you should be garotted for using, it's 'admitted'. He didn't 'admit', he just 'said'. There was no Paxman grilling to get that out of him, it's a club statement. No-one forced him to admit anything.
So there we are. No fury at all. Disappointment, criticism and a desire to move on, but no fury. Still, I'm sure the commenters will oblige...
I hope the FA ban him for at least six months.
- David Bourke, Rochester, Kent
The guy is known as an absolute idiot here in Australia so it is no surprise that he once again making a spectacle of himself. Noel Gallagher had the right idea when he made the statement "he has a face you just want to punch" and by supporting his violent brother in this manner I am sure a lot of people would like to do the same. The Cahill brothers are an embarrassment to this country for which we must apologize.
- Jamie White, Perth Western Australia
Yeah, Noel Gallagher had the right idea when he said he wanted to punch someone... that's the best way to deal with violent peop... oh.
I hope he never scores another goal.
- J.S., London, England
Yeah, you tell him. (What?)
The FA and his Manager must do something about this, he has shown his true colours hasn't he. If he were doing an everyday job he could have been sacked for less.
- Jenny Mccabe, Newport, Shrops
Why would you be sacked for putting your wrists together at work? Blimey Jenny, where do you work?
What goes around eventually comes around. Wonder if this silly man will then make the same gesture?
- Ron, Coventry
Presumably the FA or whoever will investigate this gesture/allegation.
- Mike P, Leeds, West Yorkshire
Why? What rules has it broken?
Many of this country's youngsters bad attitude seems to emulate the behaviour of footballs badly behaved. As a teacher...
Personally I think it was dumb of Cahill, but guess what, dumbness is allowed in a free democracy with free expression - if there were some kind of dumb filter on free expression, no-one would ever get anything published on the Mail's website.