Here we go then. Ready?
New Maddy witness: 'I cried 'Madeleine' and the girl with a fleck in her eye looked up'
Another new witness. This time Maddie's been spotted in the south of France, after being spotted in a million places in Portugal, Spain and Morocco. Anything new? Or just a load of spun-out bollocks? You decide...
A student has spotted Madeleine McCann in a service-station restaurant in the South of France, it is claimed.
Yes, I think if I'd been involved in one of the most high-profile kidnappings in recent years, I'd probably hang around in public locations most of the time.
Melissa Fiering, 18, said the blonde child was the spitting image of Madeleine and had her distinctive right eye with the pupil running into the iris.
She called out “Madeleine” and the little girl looked up before the man she was with bundled her out of the restaurant in Montpellier.
I think that should be: "She said she called out..." but maybe the Express reporter was there.
The child looked startled at the sound of her name and the "tall, swarthy" man she was with quickly bundled her out of the restaurant.
'Swarthy'. Needs no further comment from me, I feel.
“I called out ‘Madeleine’ and she looked up. The man with her was about six feet tall, with black hair, a black leather jacket and several days growth of stubble. He put on her coat and hat and bundled her away.
Unshaven as well! The rascal!! Not just a paedophile kidnapper, but also someone who doesn't shave and wears a leather jacket. (Let's not pretend this info is for identification purposes; this happened in France, which thankfully doesn't take the Express, and most British expats prefer Spain anyway.)
There have been several suspected sightings in Europe and North Africa of Madeleine, who vanished from her bed in a Portuguese holiday resort days before her fourth birthday last May.
Several? You're telling me, pal. Nice that the kidnappers are giving her a little tour of the Med rather than lying low; that's considerate.
But this is only the second time someone has claimed to have identified a girl with the unusual marking in her eye.
Aha! So it must be her.
Miss Fiering was in a self-service restaurant called L'Arche on the A9 motorway from France to Spain, listening to music on her mobile phone, when she noticed a child close by, dancing to the tune.
Whoa! 'Listening to music on her mobile phone'. Oh I'm sorry. That kills off the credibility of the witness for me. Have you been on a train, on a bus, in a pub, any public place, and had to suffer some evil little scrote's mobile at full blast in 10-second bursts? Horrible, horrible.
Metodo 3, the investigators hired by the McCanns, have asked the French police for the footage.
*fingers crossed it's grainy and ambiguous*
Here comes Clarence Mitchell, as ever:
The McCanns' spokesman Clarence Mitchell said: "This is all extremely encouraging.
"The girl who made the sighting is quite adamant is was Madeleine she saw.
"She says she is 100 per cent certain and had a friend with her at the time. We need to establish the truth of this.
"We need to urgently establish if this is Madeleine. Kate and Gerry need to see this footage to do just that."
I wonder whether we will get to see this footage? Or whether this 'sighting', like all the others, will quickly fade away into the daily tabloid churn?
As I was the other day in 'It's only a sodding haircut', I'm rather impressed with what I'm beginning to see on the Mail/Express messageboards:
6 feet away and can see details of the child's iris. Another one seeking 15 minutes of fame!
- Ellen, Lincoln
Not ANOTHER "Swarthy" foreign abductor!?
- David Nelson, Leeds, UK
I got as far as reading "swarthy" and gave up.
- Christine, Hants.
Oh please, not another 'swarthy' man.
- Loz, Cornwall England
Here we go again, another `swarthy` looking man.
Yet again, it wasn`t possible get a picture with her mobile phone.
Yet another distraction to the case, and a further waste of resources.
- Michelle, Surrey
And who was it who put the 'swarthy' in the story? Well compare the Express - even the Express - with the Mail. Yes, it appears to have been inserted by the Mail's own subs/writer. And it's the one thing that their own readers hate the most.