Why do I bother? I wonder sometimes. I know I'm not going to change the Express's disgraceful anti-Muslim agenda; I know I'm not going to prick the conscience of anyone who works there and pretends they're working for a real newspaper and not a far-right hatemongering rag; I know that, despite everything, people will pick up the Express, and read the bullshit, and think it's true. So why do I bother?
I look at stories like this. And I know I have to carry on, as worthless as it is, as pointless as the struggle against this massive multimedia empire as, as little joy as I'm ever going to get, as far from a victory as I'll ever achieve... I don't care. This sort of shit is just plain disgusting. It should disgust any human being who isn't racist. It should disgust anyone. It's just so wrong, I can't live my life knowing it exists and not saying anything.
Firstly, the headline. Can you spot anything slightly untrue about it?
SUICIDE BOMBER, 12, AT UK SCHOOL
Scooped up in a bucket? In bits in a coffin? No? Well then he's NOT A FUCKING SUICIDE BOMBER THEN IS HE, YOU WILFULLY IGNORANT MOTHERFUCKING CUNTWIPES.
FURY erupted last night after it emerged that a boy of 12 who trained to be a suicide bomber is being allowed to attend school in Britain.
Fury. Fury where except in Richard Desmond's office? Where is this fury? Show me the furious person. Show me someone, who isn't a hatebag of cuntery, who is furious about this. Show me them. Where are they? Are they there? Have you got them? Can you show me them, James Murray? Where do you get the source of the fury erupting? Show me it. Show me now.
'Being allowed'. Being allowed. As if what...? As if there is some way of stopping people from other countries attending school over here? Is there really? How? Should pupils be screened for things they did when they were younger and barred from attending school over here? Really? How? If I could, maybe I'd stop the children of Express readers from attending school in the UK, as they'd clearly be a disruptive influence on other, more intelligent, children. In fact even if they walk past the Express on a newsstand on their way to school - don't let them in. They'll come out with some half-baked utter bullshit about immigrants (not Jewish immigrants, though! Eh Mr Desmond?) or Muslims. Prevent them from being taught, as they've been indoctrinated by evil.
'Trained to be a suicide bomber'. How? Is it really that fucking hard? Walk onto a bus and push the button. There, training done. Any questions in suicide bomb school? It's not fucking rocket science. You don't need a degree to do it. Although maybe the pressing of a button, or connecting of a couple of bits of wire, might be too taxing for the average Express reader, I grant you.
Parents of his classmates are unaware of the Afghan child’s terrifying past. MP Philip Davies said the youngster should be removed from school immediately so a proper investigation can take place into any potential danger he poses.
'Unaware'. Until now, you mean, so he can be hounded out and your pals at the BNP can pat you on the back for a job jolly well done.
'terrifying past'. Doing what? Posing with explosives? Blowing things up?
'MP Philip Davies'. Ah yes, wheel in a Tory rentaquote to back you up. MigrationWatch busy on another call were they?
'Removed from school immediately'. On what grounds? What offence has he committed in this country? What has he done that has contradicted the school code?
'Proper investigation'. By whom? The police? Tory MPs who want to appeal to racists? Right-wing newspapers who hate Muslims? Who should be doing this exactly?
'Any potential danger'. How? Does he have wads of C4 stuffed down his blazer? Does he wander around making semtex in science class? What danger is this really? Other than the fact he's a bit brown and comes from Afghanistan? Well THEY'RE ALL POTENTIAL SUICIDE BOMBERS, aren't they??!?!??! Eh?
(Incidentally, there's nothing in the story to say the child has been brought up in a Muslim environment, nor that he is a practising Muslim now. But that doesn't stop this piece from being part of an anti-Muslim agenda, I feel. The implication is Afghan = Muslim = brown = 'one of them'. The bringing-up of the Taliban, the mentioning of 'elders', the language all fits nicely in with that agenda. Would it be different if it had been someone from another culture where suicide bombing happens, eg Tamil Tigers? I think yes. I think the implication here is that this child may have been 'trafficked' over to kill Brits. But I'm getting ahead of myself.)
Extremists recruited the boy shortly after his father, a Taliban fighter, was shot dead by British soldiers in a gun battle. One elder told him: “You must avenge his death by becoming a martyr.” During intensive mountain training the youngster learned how to handle explosives and sophisticated detonators. He even went on dummy missions with bags taped to his body.
Source? Oh, no-one. We can just make this bit up, it doesn't matter. Are we sure his dad was Taliban? No, but it doesn't matter. Any old shit here, the kid can't complain, we haven't named him. (Though I wonder how many Afghan 12-year-olds there are in this MP's constituency? Hmm.)
(Immigration officials) were stunned when full details of the boy’s shocking story emerged. One source said: “There was so much detail that was little doubt he was telling the truth. You could see the terror in his eyes.
'One source'. Bingo! That's all we need for a fucking story at the Express. One source! Have we asked the boy for his opinion? No. Or his guardians over here? No. Have we asked anyone except this 'one source'? Er, apart from a willing Tory MP, no.
“He was being brainwashed to be a suicide bomber and was on the verge of carrying out an attack which would have claimed many British lives. Yet, to save him from death, his family sent him to the very country which sent the soldier who killed his father. The child has gone through a terrible experience and needs a strong, stable environment to unwind from all the pressure he has been put under. In Britain he is being offered that environment, which will hopefully convince him how evil his Taliban masters had been.”
I would literally piss myself laughing if it weren't so appalling. A strong stable environment? In a country where the Daily Express regularly tells lies about Muslims and immigrants? Yeah I'm sure he feels really fucking welcome if he ever sees your reports. Maybe if he reads the Express every day he'll be convinced of quite the opposite in his interpretation of 'evil' - the Taliban or the Daily Express? It's a tough choice as to which is the most extreme, hateful and disgusting. I wouldn't know which one this lad would end up thinking was the most horrific institution.
He is said to have settled down well and is mixing with other children. It is understood the head of the school has been told about his past but parents have no idea that their children are sharing a classroom with a trained suicide bomber.
'Mixing with other children'. NOT ANY FUCKING MORE, YOU UTTER CUNTS. That's ruined every fucking chance the poor little sod ever had of making friends... and any Afghan boy of 12 in a school in the UK right now who isn't him, by the way. Not that you give a flying fuck, do you?
Patrick Mercer, a member of the Home Affairs Select Committee, said: “The progress of this boy through school should be closely monitored. But the real emphasis should be on tracking down those people in this country who support the Taliban and who are involved in the trafficking of young people.”
Nice reverse pass out of nowhere. I don't know who Mr Mercer is on first glance, but seeing as he's telling the Express what they want to hear and he's an elected MP rather than a BNP candidate, I'm guessing he's a Tory. (5 seconds Google search later) Oh and looky here. He's the same Tory who was sacked over saying that he had met "a lot" of "idle and useless" ethnic minority soldiers who used racism as a "cover".
The former officer also told the Times that being called a "black bastard" was a normal part of Army life.
Nice guy. But clearly he doesn't have any racism issues, so it's all right to quote him on a contentious story, isn't it?
Tracking down people who support the Taliban. OK, evidence for that is...? Oh, you don't have any. And evidence of trafficking? Oh, none. So why is it in the story, unless it is to link this child with trafficking by Taliban supporters?
Terror expert George Kassimeris, who lectures at Wolverhampton University, added: “There are large numbers of children trafficked to Britain who have been radicalised to support the cause of the Islamic Jihadists.
And his evidence is? Oh, none. He doesn't have any. He's just saying there are people doing that. Fine, we'll just have to take his bloody word for it then, won't we. Like we have to take the word of everyone the Express pulls out of their arse for their anti-Muslim/anti-immigrant bullshit articles.
Utter, utter chod that should make any Express journalist shoot him or herself in the face for being associated with such total anti-truth nonsense.
Oh, I know it won't do any good, me writing this. But this shit can't go unchallenged. Every time I see this bollocks, I will challenge it, and I will pick holes in it, and I will expose the blackened heart of scum inside. And I don't care if it doesn't make the tiniest bit of difference; I have to do it. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't.
I guess that is why I don't work for the Daily or Sunday Express. Like this 'trained suicide bomber', they're supposedly 'trained journalists'. But there's about as much chance of them ever doing any journalism as there is of that 12-year-old lad blowing himself up in school assembly.