Oh fucking hell. Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck. FUCK! Cunting hell. Fuuuuuuuuuck! Wank. Cunt. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck it! Fuck. No. No, I don't believe it. It can't be right. It must be some kind of joke! It must be a little bit of silliness. No no no. A rumour. Something false. It's all going to be all right. Yes, there won't be any problems. This won't happen.
But what if it did? What if it really happened? What then?
Sorry, I should have introduced this post better. I swear at the best of times, I'm sure you've noticed that by now, and I don't really apologise for it either. There's a school of thought that says you really ought to be able to blog without swearing, and I can kind of see that, but when we're talking about something this serious, I feel I have no option. FUCK! Fucking fuckety fuck!
I'm talking about Jonathan Harmsworth's plan to build a Daily Mail school.
Is it true? I so hope it isn't. But what if it is? Is this political incorrectness gone mad? Can any fucking wingnut do this nowadays? It's bad enough when you get the god squad piling in, teaching religious balls at the expense of science, but this... this is something far worse, far more sinister. Just have a look at this:
The deal would give the hereditary boss of a media empire that includes the top-selling, staunchly conservative Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday, as well as the London Evening Standard, control of the school and, in return for a £2m one-off payment, powers to design the curriculum and the right to hire and fire staff.
"Staunchly conservative". Ha ha! That's putting it a bit fucking mildly, isn't it. But look at those words there. Is it really true? Can they really have the power to decide the curriculum? Really? Is that what Blair designed with his city academies? Any loon with a bit of money can educate children however they want?
What do you think might be on the curriculum at Daily Mail High? I'm thinking about history lessons in particular. When talking about Hitler and the Nazis, for example, do you think they might mention the fact that a well-known newspaper proprietor, Jonathan Harmsworth's dad no less, was a big fan, referring to him as 'my dear Fuhrer'? That he wrote to Hitler congratulating him on invading Czechoslovakia? Or that he backed Oswald Mosley's British Blackshirts?
What will be taught in economics classes, I wonder? Why inheritance tax is bad because it means I don't get enough of daddy's money? Why someone's son is definitely much better at running a business than someone with real experience and skills? How Labour are taxing us too much? How, if only we got rid of capital gains tax and inheritance tax, it would make poor people better off?
What will they read in English classes? Richard Littlecock's Hell in a Handcart? Mein Kampf? Melanie Phillips' Londonistan?
And what of science? Will the children just be given endless scare stories about how salt is bad for them, followed next week by how salt is good for them? Will they be taught about 'a new report says that women are inferior to men'? Encouraged to fork out for expensive anti-wrinkle creams because women's only role in life is to be young and attractive to men? The mind bloody boggles.
I know it's wrong to burn down schools. I know that, and I wouldn't ordinarily do it. But all I will say is that if this place ever gets built, I believe it would be in the best interests of everyone in the country for it to be destroyed. Smashed to pieces. Turned into rubble. Left to blow away in the wind. The lunatics really are in charge of the asylum. A Daily Mail School? And under a Labour government. It's the poor fucking kids I worry about.
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